I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
