The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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