Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
