All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
