i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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