Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
