areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
