The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
