Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm like, not good at living.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
