My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
