glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
