Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
