you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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