She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
