what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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