i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
