your room smells of hookers.
And success
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
