That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You are the jesus of drinking
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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