either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
