I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
