did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
