You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
