end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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