well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
