One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
