Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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