You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
