i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to stop coming to work sober
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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