Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
