This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
