Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
