Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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