Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
where are my eyebrows?
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