Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
