don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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