we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
