You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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