She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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