She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize