Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
