I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize