So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
