okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
