I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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