I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
