dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
