I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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