so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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