dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
