we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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